If the translator struggles a bit with Clif Clawson, he really did a nice job with George F Babbitt. You'll recall that Martin and Clif lunch with Babbitt in Chapter 9. Babbitt's polite, wordy, pseudo-intellectualism comes through nicely.
The translation, however, is not perfect from one aspect. This is, apparently, the translator's only introduction to Babbitt. So, when Clif calls him a "real-estate king," this is rendered as "rich man." And then, later, when Babbitt says his real talent is not as much "in real estate but in oratory," real estate in this instance is rendered as assets.
Though it could be argued the translator moved from the specific to the general in these translations, they are at least reasonable from the context available only in Arrowsmith. Those of us who know Babbitt, however, realize that he's not as much a wealthy land owner as he is a somewhat successful real estate broker. Given this broader context to which I am privy, in my edit I have updated the translation slightly in these two places.
If you're paying attention to the current US political scene, reread the beginning of Arrowsmith Chapter 9 where Babbitt discusses his political aspirations, and see if it doesn't give you a smile as you compare them to a certain real estate mogul of modern times. In fairness, though, the good Mr. Trump has already had significantly more success in both realms than Babbitt ever did.
Saturday, January 30, 2016
Friday, January 22, 2016
Value of a Dollar
Working now in Chapter 9. Leora and Martin have just gotten married, causing consternation in her family. Her father, Andrew Jackson Tozer, and her brother, Bert, are most concerned whether this new couple will be a financial burden. Now this:
"Mr. Tozer had somehow made up his mind. He could at times take the lead away from Bert, whom he considered useful, but slightly indiscreet, and unable to grasp 'the full value of a dollar.' (Mr. Tozer valued it at one dollar and ninety, while the progressive Bert at scarce more than one-fifty.)"
I wouldn't anyway, but if I did ever forget why I love Lewis, a passage like that would snap me out of it in a hurry.
"Mr. Tozer had somehow made up his mind. He could at times take the lead away from Bert, whom he considered useful, but slightly indiscreet, and unable to grasp 'the full value of a dollar.' (Mr. Tozer valued it at one dollar and ninety, while the progressive Bert at scarce more than one-fifty.)"
I wouldn't anyway, but if I did ever forget why I love Lewis, a passage like that would snap me out of it in a hurry.
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
What Mistakes Should I Correct?
When I began my Arrowsmith project, I viewed this old translation as something almost sacred that needed to be preserved. Self-anointed though I was and am, I saw my mission as one of making minimal changes to bring the writing into the modern age. This, I thought, was really all I was qualified to do anyway, and then only barely so.
One of the first major mistakes I encountered was where Doc Vickerson is telling Martin his war stories, and mentions being the first doctor to do an appendectomy in "this neck of the woods." The translator had missed the idiom and rendered this as "mouth of the forest."
I've written about this below, but I wondered, should I correct this? Though it's technically wrong, it's not particularly important to the story... In the end, I did correct.
Along the way, I found many more imperfections in the translation, some of them much larger, much more important, some of them humorous.
I have continued to correct them all. My reasoning is that this is Mr. Lewis' book, and any translation of it ought to say what he meant it to say. I know Mr. Ugai did his best in that direction, and now I have an opportunity to help him out. I'm over half finished with Chapter 8 at present, and have currently 104 footnotes denoting changes I've made to the translation (beyond just modernizing characters and words, which is happening everywhere). Of course, my confidence is also growing as I go. But then, I hope not more than it should.
Just this morning I was working in Section III of Chapter 8. A few paragraphs in we find this: "For once, Martin was impenitent." There were, in my view, two problems with this passage: 1) For once became just once, and impenitent became impatient.
The latter is probably just sloppy reading by the translator, and isn't all that far wrong due to some meaning overlap between the words. But of course I changed it.
The former, though, is even more subtle. To me, for once means the same as at last. It implies that the action is overdue, or at least that one might have expected it sooner. Just once, on the other hand, is a little random. In either case, we don't know for sure what will happen in the future, but for once implies, at least to me, that I shouldn't be surprised to see something similar the next time, where just once gives one the sense that it's not all that likely to happen again.
Perhaps this difference is too subtle to worry about. Indeed. there are many such that I haven't changed, feeling they were well within the translator's discretion. Perhaps I'd have left this one alone too, had it been the only issue in the sentence. But, since I was in there anyway, I fixed it as well.
By the way, sometimes I've found myself missing Japanese idioms, and have been on the verge of fixing something that turned out to be OK given the idiomatic meaning. Since I've caught myself doing this, I'm guessing I've corrected out a reasonable translation in a few cases. Like Mr. Ugai, I am also not perfect. But, at least if I did change an idiom that might have sufficed, to the best of my ability I've replaced it with straightforward language that is still a correct translation.
One of the first major mistakes I encountered was where Doc Vickerson is telling Martin his war stories, and mentions being the first doctor to do an appendectomy in "this neck of the woods." The translator had missed the idiom and rendered this as "mouth of the forest."
I've written about this below, but I wondered, should I correct this? Though it's technically wrong, it's not particularly important to the story... In the end, I did correct.
Along the way, I found many more imperfections in the translation, some of them much larger, much more important, some of them humorous.
I have continued to correct them all. My reasoning is that this is Mr. Lewis' book, and any translation of it ought to say what he meant it to say. I know Mr. Ugai did his best in that direction, and now I have an opportunity to help him out. I'm over half finished with Chapter 8 at present, and have currently 104 footnotes denoting changes I've made to the translation (beyond just modernizing characters and words, which is happening everywhere). Of course, my confidence is also growing as I go. But then, I hope not more than it should.
Just this morning I was working in Section III of Chapter 8. A few paragraphs in we find this: "For once, Martin was impenitent." There were, in my view, two problems with this passage: 1) For once became just once, and impenitent became impatient.
The latter is probably just sloppy reading by the translator, and isn't all that far wrong due to some meaning overlap between the words. But of course I changed it.
The former, though, is even more subtle. To me, for once means the same as at last. It implies that the action is overdue, or at least that one might have expected it sooner. Just once, on the other hand, is a little random. In either case, we don't know for sure what will happen in the future, but for once implies, at least to me, that I shouldn't be surprised to see something similar the next time, where just once gives one the sense that it's not all that likely to happen again.
Perhaps this difference is too subtle to worry about. Indeed. there are many such that I haven't changed, feeling they were well within the translator's discretion. Perhaps I'd have left this one alone too, had it been the only issue in the sentence. But, since I was in there anyway, I fixed it as well.
By the way, sometimes I've found myself missing Japanese idioms, and have been on the verge of fixing something that turned out to be OK given the idiomatic meaning. Since I've caught myself doing this, I'm guessing I've corrected out a reasonable translation in a few cases. Like Mr. Ugai, I am also not perfect. But, at least if I did change an idiom that might have sufficed, to the best of my ability I've replaced it with straightforward language that is still a correct translation.
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Hermetically Sealed Engine
At the beginning of Chapter 8, Martin's life as a medical student is being described, including his feelings regarding some of his professors. Here's what it says about Professor Roscoe Geake:
"As an otolaryngologist he believed that tonsils had been placed in the human organism for the purpose of providing specialists with closed motors."
Classic Lewis, to be sure. But it made me think about the progression of cars. In Lewis day it was a status symbol to have one with a roof. Now the status is to be found in having one without.
The translator had a little trouble with this passage; "closed motors," which came out as 'hermetically sealed engines.' But this is curious in its own right. Not that it's unusual that a foreign translator would have trouble with a passage like 'closed motors,' but the translator does have a responsibility to try to make some sense of his source material. Why in the world would an ENT doctor care about an airtight engine, and what possible correlation does it have with tonsils?
One wonders: did he beat his head on it for a while only to finally decide that all it could possibly mean is 'airtight engine,' or did he just change the words without giving it a second thought? As good as most of the translation is, I suspect it must be the former.
"As an otolaryngologist he believed that tonsils had been placed in the human organism for the purpose of providing specialists with closed motors."
Classic Lewis, to be sure. But it made me think about the progression of cars. In Lewis day it was a status symbol to have one with a roof. Now the status is to be found in having one without.
The translator had a little trouble with this passage; "closed motors," which came out as 'hermetically sealed engines.' But this is curious in its own right. Not that it's unusual that a foreign translator would have trouble with a passage like 'closed motors,' but the translator does have a responsibility to try to make some sense of his source material. Why in the world would an ENT doctor care about an airtight engine, and what possible correlation does it have with tonsils?
One wonders: did he beat his head on it for a while only to finally decide that all it could possibly mean is 'airtight engine,' or did he just change the words without giving it a second thought? As good as most of the translation is, I suspect it must be the former.
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